Lost and Found
by Dee007
Summary: A one-shot follow up to Dark Side of the Moon involving a conversation between Castiel and Dean.


**Hi there folks! Like many people before me, I found the ending of 5x16 super sad, and emotional and that sparked my muse! (Which doesn't seem to happen very often...) Anyway, this is just a follow up to that episode, a convo between Dean and Cas. This is NOT slash, and all of the characters belong to Eric Kripke (One day they'll be mine, but shh!) Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Thanks!**

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**Lost and Found**

He knew right away that the angel was not all right. He didn't even need to see the six empty quarts of Jack Daniels on the dusty floor of the abandon house to know that Castiel was not alright, not that he blamed the angel. Had he not been worrying about Castiel's state of mind after the bombshell was dropped on him about God not caring, he probably would have drunk himself into a coma. As Dean approached Castiel, he surveyed his appearance: He was sitting, propped up against the wall, his nose red from the lack of heating in the house, his eyes bloodshot from the alcohol, and his trench coat discarded. His hand was wrapped tightly around the half emptied quart beside him and as his eyes travelled up to meet Dean's, Dean's stomach tightened into a knot.

"I've been calling you for hours, dude. I had to call the cell phone company to get them to trace your phone." He said, unsure of how to begin this awkward conversation.

"Go away." Castiel said bitterly. Dean ignored the order and bent down to take away the bottle. Castiel kept a stern grip on the bottle and glared at Dean.

"Cas, this isn't the way to deal with this." Dean sighed, letting go of the bottle. Castiel took a drink before answering.

"Why? It's how you deal with things." He replied with a sneer.

"Yeah, well. I'm messed up." Dean sighed. "We'll find another way." Castiel looked up at him, his icy blue eyes wide with anger and betrayl.

"We'll find another way? Dean, there is no other way. God doesn't care! He doesn't care about you, he doesn't care about earth, he doesn't care about his children!" Castiel yelled. Dean stepped back. He had never seen Castiel this angry. Sure, he had seen him upset, annoyed even, but never this defeated.

"Cas-"

"I've lost... everything." The angel whispered, casting his eyes downward.

"No, you haven't." Dean said with a shake of his head. Castiel nodded, and Dean noticed a tear rolling down the angel's cheek.

"I can't go home. My own family is hunting me. I've killed my brothers and sisters, and for what? For my pathetic belief in a father whom I've never met? A father who couldn't care less about what happens to his children and the world he so carefully created? I have nothing." He whispered before standing up. Dean watched as he stumbled back against the wall, seemingly being affected by the alcohol. His blue eyes closed, then opened slowly, looking upwards for some kind of guidance. His eyes were forced downward as Dean grabbed his shoulder tightly.

"Listen to me. We'll figure this all out. I understand that you feel betrayed, hell, well do. That isn't an excuse to give up fighting, Cas." Castiel pushed Dean's hand off of his shoulder and glared into the hunter's green eyes.

"Give me one good reason to fight anymore, Dean. There is nothing but pain down here, and all of it has been caused because my father is too tired to care? He doesn't care that for the first time I feel helpless, and lost and I can't even seek His guidance! I have nothing to fight for, Dean." The pain and desperation in Castiel's voice cut through Dean like a dull blade.

"Castiel, listen to me. You don't have nothing. You have a family, here on earth. Me, Sam, Bobby, we're your family." Dean said sternly. Castiel shook his head, but Dean grabbed his shoulder again, gripping tightly at the material of his suit jacket. "We have faith in you. We need you. You can't give up on us, Cas."

"I'm growing weaker with each day that I'm away from Heaven, Dean." Castiel sighed.

"I'm not talking about your angel mojo, Cas. Like it or not, you've become part of Team Free Will, and you can't just split. Cas, we need you... and you need us." Dean said as he slowly let go of the angel.

"I don't know..." Castiel pierced his lips together and looked away from Dean as another tear rolled down his cheek. "I don't know what to do anymore." He managed before looking back at Dean.

"You come with me and Sam, and we do what we've been doing."

"We can't kill Lucifer. Not on our own." Castiel said with a shake of his head.

"We'll figure out something Cas, and if we don't, then at least we'll be able to say that we stood up to what we believed in. This - here, now - this is what matters. Do you understand? We're your family Cas. Not those sons of bitches who want front row tickets at the Apocalypse. Us. Me, Sam, Bobby." Dean said before reaching down to pick up Castiel's trench coat. He extended it to the angel, who looked at it for a moment before enclosing a fist around it and pulling it to his chest.

"How do you do it? Keep going in a world that is so overwhelmed by pain?" Castiel asked before slowly pulling on his jacket.

"Honestly, a lot of Jack helps... but it's knowing that I'm protecting people that keeps me going. People like Bobby, and Sammy... and you. I'm doing this for my family. There are good feelings in this world, Cas." Dean said as he stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets.

"Not in my experience." Castiel sighed just before stumbling slightly. Dean grabbed his arm and steadied him.

"We'll have to work on that, then, won't we?" Dean said with a small smile. Castiel said nothing as Dean opened the passenger door to the Impala. As he climbed int the car, Dean leaned against the door and let out a sigh. "Are you gonna be okay, man?" Castiel simply stared straight ahead, as though he hadn't heard the hunter. Dean nodded slowly and turned to shut the door. He gave one glance to the starry sky above, then shook his head and got into the car on the driver's side. He started the car and was about to reach towards the radio, when Castiel interrupted him.

"Dean." Dean glanced at the angel "Thank you... For coming for me." Dean nodded and offered him another small smile before replying.

"That's what family's for, dude."

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**The end! Cheesy? Yes, but who doesn't like a cheesy ending? Most people? Probably :P Haha. Anyway, I'd love to know what you guys think! I haven't written anything in a long time, so I don't expect this to be perfect, haha. Peace and Love! 3 **


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